Kiki & Lala

The Things You Learn

Posted on: April 3, 2010

This time last year, we moved your dad from the ICU to a regular room. Under other circumstances, this would have been good news but for all of us it was a heavy-hearted resignation to the very painful truth. As I always say, I can’t believe we endured a three day death watch, cremating his remains, the wake, the funeral and all the rest of it which is fuzzy in your memory (and but a drone in my hearing).

The point here is not to relive that week – it’s indelibly inked in our history whether we like it or not – but to share with you the things I’ve realized in the past year. Most of them you know but it’s nice to put in writing.

1. I realized how blessed we are to be in a small but tight-knit clan that is always there no matter how, when, why or what.

2. I always knew but have really come to see what an indomitable woman your mom is.

3. I realized that not everyone is as fortunate as your dad – to pass away peacefully in the presence of all who loved him.

4. I realized the dying DO wait for their loved ones.

5. Though I could never fully comprehend your dad’s love affair with politics, after poring over his pictures, it’s abundantly clear how sincerely exuberant he was around his constituents.

6. We do get comforting messages in dreams – our own or those of people we least expect.

7. We can actually be really funny when we’re sad.

That’s all…


2 Responses to "The Things You Learn"

Wow! I don’t think anybody could have said this better. Thanks for this!

Like you, I’ve been zipping through flashbacks, thinking what I was doing “this time last year”. And while I wish this time last year never happened, I don’t think we would have learned and lived the valuable lessons you listed above.

Dad, NR as he was (just like your Dad), loved to laugh so we couldn’t have given him a better send off of laughter and love.

you’re welcome.
i think i’m trying to file in my mind the good things that came out of the past 12 months.
i like to see our send off for him as real and sweet in a low key way – just like your pops.

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