Archive for June 2009
As this cancer month drags on, I serendipitously stumbled on our favorite essay. I thought I’d post this today because between you and me and the many bring-it-on challenges we face, we will always find meaning in this. Doesn’t this whole concept of waiting with love and compassion remind you of the concept of restriction in Kabbalah? So waiting for Godot might be worth it after all.
The Sacrament Of Waiting
Fr. James Donelan, S.J.
The English poet John Milton wrote that those who serve also stand and wait. I think I would go further and say that those who wait render the highest form of service. Waiting requires more discipline, more self-control and emotional maturity, more unshakable faith in our cause, more unwavering hope in the future, more sustaining love in our hearts that all the greatest deeds of deering-do go by the name of action.
Waiting is a mystery – a natural sacrament of life – there is a meaning
hidden in all the times we have to wait. It must be an important mystery because there is so much waiting in our lives. Everyday is filled with those little moments of waiting (testing our patience and our nerves, schooling us in self-control.) We wait for meals to be served, for a letter to arrive, for a friend to call or show up for a date. We wait in line at cinemas and theaters, concerts and circuses. Our airline terminals, railway stations and bus depots are great temples of waiting filled with men and women who wait in joy for the arrival of a loved one – or wait in sadness to say goodbye and give the last wave of hand. We wait for springs to come – or autumn – for the rains to begin and stop. And we wait for ourselves to grow from childhood to
maturity. We wait for those inner voices that tell us when we are ready for the next step.
We wait for graduation, for our first job, our first promotion. We wait for success and recognition. We wait to grow up – to reach the stage where we make our own decisions. We cannot remove this waiting from our lives. It is a part of the tapestry of living – the fabric in which the threads are woven to tell the story of our lives.
Yet current philosophies would have us forget the need to wait “grab all
the gusto you can get.” So reads one of America’s greatest beer ads – get it now! Instant pleasure, instant transcendence. Do not wait for anything. Life is short – eat, drink and be merry because tomorrow you will die. And so they rationalize us into accepting unlicensed and irresponsible freedom – pre-marital sex and extra marital affairs – they warn against attachments and commitments – against expecting anything of anybody, or allowing them to expect anything of us – against dropping any anchors in the currents of our life that will cause us to hold and wait. This may be the correct prescription for pleasure – but even that is fleeting and doubtful – what was it Shakespeare said about the mad pursuit of pleasure – “Past reason hunted, and once had, past reason hated.” Not if we wish to be real human beings, spirit as well as flesh, soul as well as heart, we have to learn to wait. For if we never learn to wait, we will never learn to love someone other than ourselves.
For most of all waiting means waiting for someone else. It is a mystery,
brushing by our face everyday like a stray wind of leaf falling from a
tree. Anyone who has loved knows how much waiting goes into it – how much waiting is important for love to grow, to flourish through a lifetime.
Why is this? Why can we not have it right now what we so desperately want and need? Why must we wait – two years, three years – and seemingly waste so much time? You might as well ask why a tree should take so long to bear fruit – the seed to flower – carbon to change to diamond.
There is no simple answer – no more than there is to life’s other demands – having to say goodbye to someone you love because either you or they have made other commitments; or because they have to grow and find the meaning of their own lives – having yourself to leave home and loved ones to find your own path – good-byes, like waiting, are also sacraments of our lives.
All we know is that growth – the budding, the flowering of love needs
patient waiting. We have to give each other a time to grow.
There is no way we can make someone else truly love us or we them, except through time. So we give each other that mysterious gift of waiting – of being present without asking demands and rewards. There is nothing harder to do than this. It truly tests the depth and sincerity of our love. But there is life in the gift we give.
So lovers wait for each other – until they can see things the same way – or let each other freely see things in quite different ways. There are times when lovers hurt each other and cannot regain the balance of intimacy of the way they were. They have to wait – in silence – but still present to each other – until the pain subsides to an ache and then only a memory and the threads of the tapestry can be woven together again in a single love story.
What do we lose when we refuse to wait; when we try to find shortcuts through life – when we try to incubate love and rush blindly and foolishly into a commitment we are neither mature nor responsible enough to assume? We lose the hope of truly loving or of being loved. Think of all the great love stories of history and literature -isn’t it of their very essence that they are filled with this strange but common mystery – that waiting is part of the substance – the basic fabric against which the story of that true love is written.
How can we ever find either life or true love if we are too impatient to wait for it?
Since I spend a lot of time at school, I end up hanging out with the other parents and we often have interesting conversations. Thankfully, they are a very open-minded lot who like to question why things are the way they are. I got to talking to one of the dads about religion and he pointed out several things which I thought were amusing and interesting about our beloved Roman Catholic church.
We were talking about how the church was put together and is run by human beings who used (and still use) it as a tool to achieve whatever it wants to – good or not-so-good. Many traditions were formed years and years after Jesus died and rose again. The gospels were written at least a century later.
Anyway, here are some interesting tidbits that are not so new but were amusing to me.
The Statue Thing
Jesus did not go around with statues. He never told people to make statues of him or anyone else. So why is it the Vatican – and churches all around the world – are rife with these beautiful masterpieces?
We have the Romans to thank/blame. After persecuting Christians for centuries, the Romans realized that the converts of Christ were still growing in number. And we know that any play on political power is about winning a numbers game so they just decided to jump on the bandwagon. Can’t beat ’em? Join ’em!
But if they were going to be Christians, what would become of all the statues of their pagan gods and high priests?
And their people were all used to praying to or worshipping statues – what now? Recycle and reuse! Their statues were made into the image and likeness of biblical figures and later, saints.
I think the image of the Virgin is a lovely hybrid of Flora and Eirene…
Jesus Never Went To Church
OK, maybe he had to die in order for there to be churches for us to pray in but Jesus prayed in what we might consider “strange” places today. He liked to connect to his Creator in gardens and deserts and by the sea. He was showing us that you can and should talk to God everywhere – because that’s where he is.
December 25 is Jesus’ birthday. So we’re told. But if shepherds were indeed watching their flocks by night, wouldn’t they have frozen to death from the bitter cold of winter? And how often do you have skies so clear that you can see the stars during that time of year?
From the biblical descriptions and accounts, it seems that Jesus was born around springtime. (Which makes sense because most righteous souls were born as Pisceans haha!). So how did we get to December 25? It turns out, December 25 was the birth/feast day of the Roman God of The Sun.
Now aren’t you enlightened? Tell me you are… It took me a while to google all those images…!
Who doesn’t love wearing their baby? I would wear mine more often it’s just that he weighs a damn ton these days.
I usually carry him in a sling – off to one side on my hip. This is not kind to my weight-bearing shoulder. But as baby gear makers and marketers would have it, there is a solution. (At least for your shoulders, if not your back). You just need to distribute baby’s weight on both shoulders. And for that, all you need is a Moby Wrap.
Now I’m not sure if Mik would want to be carried this way unless he was napping, so I would most likely have him in this carrying style known as the hike hold.
Or since he’s Mr. Ultra Observant, there’s this style called the lotus hold.
But here’s what’s truly impressive. The moby wrap easily accommodates TWINS!!
Don’t you love it? I like the lilac colored one. I think it’s unisex enough if my next bebe is a girl and light enough so it’s not too hot for the tropics.
Educator Ken Robinson thinks schools are killing creativity. He makes a humorous but strong argument for it here.
The points that struck me were:
Traditional education was designed for a newly industrialized world – when people were needed to work in factories and offices. How very 19th century.
Intelligence is diverse. To nurture it, education must be diverse as well.
Kids are innately creative. They find ways to cope and adjust to various situations. We can kill that when we narrowly focus on just a few aspects of intelligence.
I make it sound so boring. Watch this instead and let me know what you think.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
RIP: The Man in the Mirror Michael Jackson. I’m just glad we got to see him in the flesh before he got too eccentric for our tastes.
Research in the last month showed very positive signs. Olaparib, as these pills are called, prevent unstable cancer cells from going forth and multiplying. It’s supposed to curb the growth of inherited tumors. Inherited tumors are tumors that grow as a result of the presence of the cancer gene, which I am almost certain, is deeply embedded in my genetic make-up. This pill was tested on a bunch of people living with cancer including this 62 year old guy named Julian Lewis, pictured below (I know, i know, I just wanted this post to have more pictures).
This is what BBC says about his treatment:
It seems I’m making this month’s posts all about me. Indulge the bida who’s in need of affirmation. We’re in the month of Cancer and I’m feeling needy ;p
Here are shots from my Metro Working Mom loungewear shoot with Rocio.
We need to give credit where credit is due.
Photos by Wesley Villarica
Makeup by Cherry Pacheco
Styling by Romina G. and Sidney
Most of these came out in the actual spread. Some didn’t but they’re all nice… at least I think so…