Posts Tagged ‘kids say the darndest things’
It’s no secret that my boy has become a basketball nut. Here is further proof that it’s pretty much what he has on his mind all day long.
He comes to me with a pack of “Choco-Knots” to be opened.
Mikel: Mom – can you open please?
Lala: OK but can you put that water bottle back in the ref?
Mikel: The referee??
So we were in HK last week for some R and R and brought along the two older kids. It was Mikel’s second time there though in many ways it was his first – his first with a more mature consciousness. Last time, he was two and a half so it didn’t count too much.
If you recall, he failed my “travel test” two years ago with his getting frightened by ordinary street noises and tantrums. Thankfully, this time at age four, he passed with flying colors. We can take him just about anywhere! He hardly complained. If he was tired he would give a whiney little, “Can we go back to the holltell??” – and that was it. Amazing! What a difference two years can make.
The cutest thing in Disneyland was when he started to get scared as we boarded the boat for It’s A Small World. He was clinging to me like a little country mouse.
Mikel: Mom… Can you pottect me?
Lala: Protect you? From what? We’re in It’s A Small World!
Mikel: From the cocodile…!
Where did all the “R”s go?
Then this super sweet conversation a few nights later. We had come from dinner and were all tired except my super shopper husband who wanted to roam around Tsim Sha Tsui till the stores closed. So I said I was going to take the kids up to the “holltell” so we could all rest. But of course, Mikel didn’t want to part ways from his dad so Luigi told him, “You need to take a bath and rest. You also need to protect Mommy, OK?”. And somehow after that we were on our way back to our hotel but I soon realized Mikel was still a bit upset and confused.
Mikel: Why Pappy wants to go shopping still?
Lala: Never mind. Let him be OK. Besides, if you stay with him, you’ll just get tired.
Mikel: But… But… Who I pottect you from??
As you know, my not-so-little girl now knows about the birds and the bees. I kept it as simple as possible but I recently realized I was still using baby words to describe bodily parts.
Rocio is quite the Instagram fanatic. Two days ago, she “liked” a picture her older cousin had posted. It was a doodle of a stick figure man pointing at a penis (not his own) and the word “penis” itself floating somewhere on the page.
Lala: Rocio, why did you like this?
Rocio: I thought it was cute…
Lala: Do you know what it is?
Rocio: It’s a man pointing at a key or something…
Lala: There’s a word here… can you read it?
Rocio: (peers over to iPhone)… peen…uhs…?
Lala: Right! Do you know what a penis is?
Lala: It’s the scientific word for a guys’ birdie, OK? You need to know that.
Lala: And the scientific name for a girl’s poochie is “vagina”, OK?
Lala: OK, so what’s the scientific name for a guy’s birdie?
Lala: Good! And what’s the scientific name for a girl’s poochie?
Rocio: (pauses and thinks) Uhm… I forgot… a puh-jankha?
I was laugh-crying my eyes out!!!
As you know, some time ago Mikel gave himself the moniker “Mr. Booger”.
And he has been living up to the name with very little effort.
Earlier tonight, I caught him digging for gold while watching something on the iPad. (I deliberately put that out there so thieves might think twice before getting their hands on ours ;P)
Lala: Were you picking your nose??
Lala: Yes you were…
Mikel: I’m just scratching because there’s a mosquito bite…
Lala: Whatever, Mr. Booger.
This was us at the gas station the other day.
Mikel: Why we put gas?
Lala: We need to put gas because if we don’t, the car won’t run.
Mikel: Where… Where the legs of the car??
You may have heard these before but anyway…
Someone around here is getting wise. The fact that his sister got an iPod Touch for Christmas was not lost on him and in his own quiet way, he is determined to NOT be left behind. So recently, we were in the playroom and he drags a (pink!) stool to the middle of the room.
Mikel: Watts, Mom… Watts…
Lala: Oh… What are you going to do?
Mikel: (climbs on top of stool and stands proudly) See?
Lala: Oh my goodness! Look at you. You’re so tall! You’re so big!
Mikel: I so beeg orready, I can get a iPhone!
The other day, we were waiting for the DVD of Real Steal to cue so he was all giddy and excited and apparently in the mood to sing his own praises.
Mikel: You know Nana and Lolo? Theys like me. They say, Mikel you’re so cute and I say, Oh I’m so cute! Like dat… Theys like me…
And last but not least, yesterday he bounds into my room with his hand painted card and greets me a
“HAPPY BALANCE TIMES DAY!!!”
There are moments in every parent’s life when their child thinks quicker than them. Those moments are become more frequent around here.
Rocio: Mom, when I have kids I’m going to name them all after Star Wars characters.
Rocio: Yeah! So I’ll have a Luke and a Leia…
Lala: You can’t do that!
Rocio: Why not?
Lala: Because it’s better to give them Christian or spiritual names. Although Leia is OK because there was a Leah in the Bible.
Rocio: Yeah but there was a Luke who wrote one of the gospels! O?
Lala (thought bubble): Omigad, she’s right! Damn… gotta be quicker!
Yesterday afternoon as the kids were enjoying their daily outdoor play, Mikel hopped off his bike and ran towards me when he saw me talking to the baby who was sitting attentively in her stroller. As soon as he got there – I swear, this happened so fast there was no way for me to stop it – he stuck his chubby finger up Raquel’s teeny tiny nostril! The poor baby was too startled to cry. She didn’t know what hit her.
So after screaming and pulling his finger out of there, I told his yaya (nanny) what had just happened.
Yaya (with a shake of the head): Nung araw nga ma’am, nakita na lang namin si Mikel, sinusubuan si Raquel.
Lala: Sinusubuan? Ano – pagkain niya?
Yaya: Hindi po – yung booger niya!
Yaya: The other day we just saw Mikel feeding Raquel.
Lala: Feeding? What? His food?
Yaya: No, ma’am. His booger!
I’m learning that kids know much more than we think they do. I can describe it – well, at least this incident – only as a sad mommy moment. I know, I know, it’s ironic coming from someone who couldn’t wait to grow up and did so quite quickly if not physically.
Anyway, your mom bought Rocio this pen that lights up when you use it. The bottom half of the pen which is see-through says “#1 Kid”. So when you turn the pen around, you see the words backwards. The other day, she comes in the room to wake me up and this is the first conversation of my day.
Rocio: Mom, what is d-i-k?
Lala: (opens one eye, sees the pen) It’s just kid spelled backwards.
Rocio: But what does it say?
Lala: Well, kid spelled backwards is probably… dik.
Rocio: Oh… (softly) You mean like a man’s private parts? So it’s like a bad word, right?
Lala: (thought bubble): Punyeta! How the hell could she know that?!
(speaks feigning non-chanlance): Yes… dik is a bad word so please don’t say it. How did you find out what it means?
Rocio: Umm… I don’t remember…
Lala: It’s OK – I’m not mad. I’m just curious about where you heard it – from a movie maybe?
Rocio: No… it was a long time ago Mom… Yeah, I think someone said it when I was in kingergarten.
Lala: Rocio, can you please pass me that book?
Rocio: Certainly, your highness.
Lala: It’s your majesty.
Rocio: Why majesty?
Lala: Because I’m the Queen. You are Your Highness because you’re the princess.
Rocio: No… Raquel’s Your Highness because she’s the princess, Dad’s the King, I’m the servant and Mikel… Mikel’s the cockroach!